Saturday . . . a day of rest and relaxation. So much so that I have found almost nothing to write about today. Just before noon, we had team debriefing for a couple hours, which did seem to drag on a bit. But I suppose that is due more to my lack of interest in meetings than any detriment in the actual structured conversations. One of the things I did appreciate about the debriefing was our time of affirming one another. Jon is amazing at music; Molly never lacks crazy ideas to share with kids; Candice is tirelessly helpful. Etc, etc, etc. It was soothing to hear words of encouragement at the end of a trip that has been at times rather discouraging. I must admit, God, there were moments when I simply disliked being a part of this particular team. Fresh from the unforced cheerfulness of Rwanda, it was hard to adjust at first to a team that gave me the initial feeling of, “Oh, great - I’m back in America again!” But, my Lord, I have seen You bless others through our struggling selves. I have seen the children grin widely because of something we as a team gave them. I have heard Your Name glorified again and again. Here is the positive. You led us all here, Father, so very blatantly, and You have done well to bring us here.
We did get to enjoy one brief shopping adventure this afternoon at a local craft market. I really felt very immensely rich. Although I didn’t want to buy many of the things up for sale, I could have with the money I had with me, and that was the point. I think that is the thing, regardless of how much actual cash you are carrying, that makes you feel wealthy: the ability, with or without the desire, to buy whatever is in front of you. In Africa, they are firm supporters of the bargaining system, which is something I have greatly missed in America and greatly enjoyed today!
Eva and John Paul (two of our favorite translators) spent the afternoon with us. They had been away from camp this last week except for one evening, and it was good to see them again. But, dear God, I feel an ache in my chest when I remember that I have to leave this place - these people. I’ve already said too many goodbyes; must there soon be more? I do not want to say them. These people have filled my days with such radiant smiles and glorious outpourings of deeply sincere love. It is hard to accept leaving them, especially not knowing when we might meet again. But, Father God, I thank You all the more for Home - for the family we shall be when we reach those dear golden shores, for the sweetness of knowing all Eternity awaits us. I have been asked many times how I have stood to say goodbye to so many friends. “Doesn’t it break your heart?” is what they are asking. My unshakable hope in the reality of Your Heaven is my only answer. This world is really only a very short goodbye, if goodbye it must be, and we’ve all of forever to more than make up for that.
For now, Jesus, I ask You to hold my hand. You, my Breath, my Life, You are sufficient. Again and again You have proven Yourself, my Lord. I lack nothing because You are with me. There is nothing in You that I do not have - nothing in You that is incomplete. Jesus, You have my heart. I fall at Your feet and surrender to You my everything. Holy God, take all of me. I am Yours completely. Lead me on, dearest Savior. Amen.
