I’m what you might call an expert in this subject (and I don’t say that about many subjects). I don’t have a kid; I don’t need one: my family’s already got seven. Three babies, one toddler, and three little guys that are most definitely 100% kid. I’ve got a dog. The similarities are astounding. My sister yells at her kids to stop jumping on the couch; I yell at my dog to stop jumping on the kids. She gets woken up at 3:00 in the morning by a baby crying for food; I get woken up by a puppy that’s got to go potty now. Her vehicle’s back seat is a mess of half-eaten french fries and toy pieces; my back seat is a mess of muddy paw prints and dog hair.
It’s amazing how much you have to pack for an overnight stay with a baby or a dog. Diapers. Leash. Bottle. Doggy treats. Binkie. Pillow. (The pillow’s for my dog; he sleeps on one at night.) It’s amazing how much money you start spending, not on yourself. On them. On it. It’s amazing what you hear coming out of your mouth. “Don’t eat so fast; you’ll choke and die.” “Don’t take her toy; she had it first.” “What’d you do with your blanket?” “Why aren’t you in bed sleeping like you’re supposed to?” (And believe me, I’ve heard these said to both kids and dogs!)
Then again, I’ve never heard my sister yell, “Get that poop out of your mouth!”
Maybe, there’s a difference between kids and puppies after all.
