King of the Ants: A Parable

One day all the children gathered on the back lawn. “I will be king of the ants,” the first little boy said. But then the second stepped forward and said, “No, I will be king of the ants.” And then what do you think? The third declared the same thing, and the fourth didn’t want to be left out, and well - it might have gone rather impolitely after that, for little boys are more prone to using fists than words, but for a little girl who stepped forward. And the little girl said, “Only one of you will be king of the ants, and this is how we will decide. Whoever can make the ants love him will be king.”

The boys agreed, and thus the test began.

Said the first little boy, “I know! I will give the ants a picture of me. A very small picture that they can carry into their homes and hang up on their walls and stare at all day. And so they will see and love me.” But when he tried, the ants carried the picture underground and vanished in every direction. And the little boy thought, “Hm. Seeing a picture of me is not the same as loving me.” And he did not know what to do.

Meanwhile, the second little boy said, “I know! I will find honey, and I will rub it on my hands and feet and arms and legs. Then the ants will come to the honey, and so they will love me.” But when he tried, the ants came and ate the honey and then wandered off in every direction. And the little boy thought, “Hm. Eating the honey I give is not the same as loving me.” And he did not know what to do.

Said the third little boy, “I know! I will speak to the ants. Loud and slow and clear. Then they will hear my voice and love me.” But when he tried, the ants thought it was angry thunder and flew terrified in every direction. And the little boy thought, “Hm. Hearing my voice is not the same as loving me.” And he did not know what to do.

Meanwhile, the fourth little boy said, “I know! I will get a box, and I will put the ants in the box. I will feed them and water them, and they will be safe in the box, and so they will love me.” But when he tried, the ants refused to stay in the box but escaped in every direction. And the little boy thought, “Hm. Wanting safety is not the same thing as loving me.” And he did not know what to do.

Now for all I know, those four little boys and their befuddled little ants are still sitting on the back lawn, not knowing what to do (although I am quite sure the girl has left by now). But you are waiting for the moral of the story, and it is this: What four boys could not accomplish, one God did. Not by sending pictures, bribery, sensationalism, or security. So, how did He do it? Simply this: He sent Himself.

A Chinese Driving Test

REAL honest-to-goodness questions on a driving test in China, late 2009. Go ahead and try the test yourself . . . You might be surprised at how well you do! (I have provided some American explanations in parenthesis.)

TRUE/FALSE

A) When a vehicle goes uphill on a mountain road, it should change to low gear in advance, speed up and dash uphill.
B) When a vehicle overturns slowly and jumping out of the vehicle is possible, the driver should jump in the opposite direction of the overturn.
C) When driving on a muddy road, the driver should remove the muddy and cover with sands, rocks, grasses or wood if the wheels of his vehicle spin. (We know you’re stuck in the mud, but get rid of the mud anyhow, find some grass, pick it quick, and cram it under your tires.)
D) When the driver senses he will inevitably be thrown out of the vehicle, he should violently straighten both his legs to increase the force of being thrown out and jump out of the vehicle.
E) When putting out a fire, the driver should refrain from breathing through mouth or crying loudly. Otherwise, the fire and smoke will scorch the upper respiratory tract. (Since fires start in cars so often, this is a very important answer to know.)
F) When a vehicle falls into water, the driver should in no way panic. In particular, those who cannot swim should first manage to escape through the windows. As long as they reach the water surface, they will have more chances to survive. (If, however, you are so unfortunate as to not be able to reach the water surface, your chance of survival is slightly decreased.)
G) After a vehicle falls into water, the driver should immediately close the windows to prevent water from flowing into the compartment and to keep the air from flowing out. At the same time, they make telephone calls to tell the rescue personnel the place of the accident and wait for their arrival. (Lock yourself in the car 20 feet underwater, and call for help!)
H) When a wounded person is under the wheel or cargo, the correct method is to pull the limbs off the wounded. (Translation: If you run someone over, pull their arms off!)
I) The main feature of pedestrians participating in road traffic is, they walk around at will and can easily change directions. (They don’t really know where they’re going, and they’re more zombie than human, since they obviously have no idea how to watch out for traffic.)
J) In hot weather, the driver may drive barebacked, barefooted or wearing slippers. (No shirt, no shoes . . .)
K) When encountering a flock of sheep on the road the driver must honk loudly and continuously to drive them off. (Is the answer the same when you meet a family of gorillas? What about an elephant herd?)

Answers:
A) True
B) True
C) True
D) True
E) True
F) True
G) False
H) False
I) True
J) False
K) False

Many thanks to the brave missionary family in China who both passed and sent us this test. I’m sure we’re all very much wishing we could drive our cars where you drive yours!